WHAT MY BODY LOOKS LIKE 3 MONTHS POSTPARTUM

Fu#$ a SnapBack! My youngest child just turned 3 months on April 3rd and I just did my third, true postpartum workout. I’m kickboxing. Its my new obsession. Once I was cleared for exercise this time around, I started  doing light walks. But, after baby number two, I could barely walk! A few days after giving birth, I remember taking my son out for a walk around the maternity ward and felt breathless after a short loop around the hall.

Now, just 3 months later I can get through an entire 30-minute workout. It was long, hard, and sweaty, but I survived—woot! I should be doing a praise dance with jazz hands! Instead, I’ll admit I’ve been guilty of body shaming myself. I gained about 45 pounds with Baby Z, and gained about 35 with my daughter. I was a prenatal workout junkie during both of my pregnancies. I ate well, mostly whole, natural foods while preggo with Z and exercised about 2-3 times a week.

I keep telling myself that the weight gain is totally normal— after all I made a human. But as I scroll through Instagram, seeing other new moms instantaneously ‘bounce back,’ feelings of  inadequacy creep in. With my girl, I didn’t start working out consistently until about a year after she was born. The baby-weight pretty much just fell off. But I’m a bit older with Z and I feel like the additional weight is going to take a while to get off. B.C. (Before Children) I never had to actively think about losing or gaining weight, nor the toll that the process can take on you both physically and mentally. This is a true learning for me, especially when it comes to self acceptance.

Here I am trying on sports bras. I’ve always been a B-C cup girl. This is the first time that I’ve worn a Triple D. Baby-Z enjoys his milk y’all. Props to all of the milk-making mamas out there!

But, hello!! I haven’t even taken a moment to say thank you and feel gratitude for the progress that I’ve made. As I zero in on turning 40 this year, and all that means, I’ve been caught up with “getting this weight off.” Puullleasse. Slow down. The ego is a beast, y’all!

Meanwhile, in the land of reality, my body has been strong enough to carry and birth two healthy children at what docs labeled “an advanced maternal age,” hold, feed, nurture and love them. The least I can do is be kind and patient as my body heals. Fu#$ a “snapback,” give me longevity! I’m committed to staying healthy and strong for myself and my family. They need me and I need me.

Rockin’ that post-preggo pouch…

So yeah, here I am, 3-months postpartum. I’m putting myself on blast and making myself say thank you. Thank you post-baby body for all that you’ve done. Thank you creator for getting me here. And thank you ego, for showing me how foolish I’ve been.