Experiencing Burnout? Take A Road Trip.

What I Learned About The Power of Saying Yes

When creating healthy boundaries on a path to wellness, I’ve heard a lot about the power of saying NO.

Building an impenetrable wall is important at times, especially when feeling overstretched. While I sometimes still struggle with saying NO in my professional life, I have no problem exercising the power of NO at home, especially when it comes to momming. “NO, Mommy has to do her work. NO, you can’t have that sweet stuff, or NO watching the iPad right now.”

This week I realized HOW MUCH I’d been saying NO to, and how MUCH MORE I wanted to say YES.

The lifestyle shift that we’ve had to adopt, as a result of the pandemic, can make what used to be simple, feel more complicated. Possibly even heavier. Family travel was in that bucket for me; until my crew convinced me that we needed to take a family trip, and that we could do it safely. (They also made it nearly impossible for me to say NO— more on that below! :)

When I thought about the long, 3-day weekend coming, as a working mama juggling A LOT, all I could think about was sleep.

Relaxing was top on my agenda, as was doing tactical things like; cleaning the house, doing laundry, and getting organized, (I have a perpetual obsession with getting organized).

I had NO intention on jumping in the car with the fam, AT THE START OF THE WEEK, and driving for hours to snowy Big Bear Lake.

It felt incredibly UNCOMFORTABLE to step outside of my “scheduled” day to do something last-minute, unplanned and spontaneous. Pre-kids me, Yes!! I’d hop on a PLANE in a snap! New Mom-Mid Pandemic Me-Nope! I don’t even feel like I can take a CAR RIDE without preparation. Initially, all I could think of was how a day away could throw off the whole week! Our sleep schedules, meal planning, and possibly remote school. And wait--the kids didn’t have snow boots, we didn’t have snow chains, we’ve gotta pack snacks, clothing changes, toiletries and OH GOLLY, the house is a hot mess.!So, spearheaded by Hubs, we went out and got the boots, and the snacks...My man even laid out the kids’ clothes and cleaned the house!! AMAZING.

I literally came up with EVERY EXCUSE, until there was none left.

As we were driving up the curvy mountain on the way there, I found myself clenching my teeth in the passenger seat. It wasn’t just the small roads and high altitudes that were scaring me. It was my mindset! Through my hesitation I thought, “Sometimes, you’ve just gotta say yes!” I grabbed my Mommafied eye mask and put it on to relax during our ride. Soft and cozy, it did the trick. Helped me rest and CALM the F-Down...LOL!! I asked myself, WHO IS THIS WOMAN?! Why am I tense, as we head straight ahead for fun?!

Sure, I was a bit burned out from weathering our daily pandemic schedule, but it was more than that.

I had to reassess my priorities. What’s more important--our schedules and staying ‘on track,’ or our happiness, building memories, and enjoying time together as a family? Before we found out the Hubs had a day off and we decided on Big Bear, all I’d talked about was getting away, taking moment for us all to recharge, getting the kids out in the fresh air. Yet, I was clinging hard to doing the opposite.

We get so stuck in our routines, that we forget to live! We work hard, but forget to enjoy moments designed to rest and reconnect.

My kids have wanted to see the snow for a long time! It won’t last here in the California mountains. They’ve been craving to get out of the house for more extended play. They have online school fatigue. Hell, to be honest they need memories that don’t involve YouTube and me being glued to my computer. It was a day to play in the snow! A day to let go! A day to release CONTROL. A day to say YES! Just ONE DAY.

What happens when we say yes to doing what scares us? We actually become free. We feel empowered.

Seeing my children’s faces light up in a way that they haven’t in a long time, made my heart smile. It was rejuvenating to laugh loudly, run, play softly, make snow angels, and feel the crunch of the snow as we made (and threw) snowballs. To look in our kids’ eyes and give them the unhurried attention that they deserve. It felt good to reconnect with my guy on the car ride up. While the kids were sleep we had some amazing conversations, listened to music we played when we first started dating, and talked about our dream vacations in the future.

It reminded me of an interview that I once saw with Shonda Rhimes, who was talking about her book, Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own PersoN.

In the book she talks about how she took a year off from saying NO, and decided to say YES to more things that scared her. That included playing with her children when she was running late to work. We all know about the benefits of play for enhancing children’s development. Play can also help us Mommafied moms. It not only strengthened she and her kids’ relationship, it made Shonda feel more creative, well-rounded and empowered. She said in a TED Talk,

“One day the floodgates open and there’s a rush, and I find myself standing in my office filled with an unfamiliar melody, full on groove inside me….bubbles and sticky fingers and dinners with friends. I am that hum. Life’s hum. Love’s hum. Work’s hum is still a piece of me, it is just no longer all of me, and I am so grateful.”

This sums up the feeling that I had after saying YES to our impromptu trip. The whole week was not thrown off after one day away. In fact, it was saved. It lit a spark in me; helped me understand my children’s current needs better. It brought me closer to them and my spouse. It allowed me space to breathe and reassess. So, YES to reconnecting. Yes to playing in the snow. Yes to seeing my children the happiest they’ve been in a while. YES to reconnecting with my love. YES, to freeing myself!

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